Jon Bon Jovi Wrote Two of My All-Time Favorite Songs and I’m Not Ashamed to Admit It.

“I’m a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. I’m wanted… dead or alive.” “Shot down in a Blaze of Glory!” Good fucking god man. I love that lyric. How could a band have such an amazing, kick ass, goose bump inspiring song and then turn around and belt out the future anthem of every frumpy bride to be at her bachelorette party “Livin’ On a Prayer?”

Before you get all up in arms here, let me just make one thing clear. I am not a Bon Jovi fan. Never really was. Even back in their heyday I can remember just thinking that Bon Jovi was one of the most neutered sounding hard rock bands around. I mean, Bon Jovi made Poison look like fucking Venom. I am hard pressed to really think of a weaker ass band than Bon Jovi. Maybe Nelson? Who know?

With all this being said, I can honestly say that I totally get Bon Jovi’s appeal. Their appeal back in the day was to the teenage girls with their songs of romanticism and not so insulting sexual laden lyrics. W.A.S.P. wanted to fuck you like a best while Bon Jovi merely wanted you to lay your hands on him. KISS wanted you to lick it up but Bon Jovi wanted to lay you down on a bed of roses.  Warrant wanted your cherry pie but Bon Jovi wanted you to never say goodbye. Bon Jovi was long haired, bad boy romance. Bon Jovi was the guy that could totally shot gun beers with your brother only after helping your mother do the dishes after complimenting her over a delicious dinner.

When I was a kid, very few guys I knew really liked Bon Jovi. When I was in high school, Bon Jovi’s big album at the time was New Jersey, a heaping platter of some of the most non-offensive music you had ever heard. I’ll be 100% honest here when I say that I could never really say, “Man, Bon Jovi sucks.” The reason is because I mean they didn’t. Jon Bon Jovi can sing his ass off. His band is top notch. Richie Sambora is as good as singer as your boy Jon and they could write well-crafted radio friendly mom loving rock n’ roll. It was just not my cup of tea and it really still isn’t but I’ll be damned if Jon Bon Jovi didn’t write what I consider to be two of the best written songs around:

Wanted Dead or Alive

Seriously. I don’t care how fucking metal or heavy you claim to be, you need your fucking head examined if you don’t think this song kicks ass. In all honesty, I feel like Bon Jovi totally did the rockstar as cowboy metaphor even better on this song than Ratt did with “Wanted Man” (which also kicks a shit ton of ass). This song just just lightning captured in a bottle.

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Blaze of Glory

Young Guns II baby. Seriously. “I don’t know where I’m going. Only God knows where I’ve been. I’m a devil on the run. A six gun lover. A candle in the wind.” That’s a great fucking lyric there and Jon fucking digs deep into his fucking soul and pulls out a vocal deliver that still gives me goosebumps to this day.

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I am totally not ashamed to admit my love for those two songs right there. Jon Bon Jovi had this fascination with cowboys and I just think that it’s fucking funny that his “cowboy” songs are his best ones. Hell, he even had a song called “Ride Cowboy Ride” that was pretty kick ass. It makes me wonder if he would’ve done a bunch of songs in this vein if they would’ve been any good. Well, I listened to the Young Guns II soundtrack and pretty much found out that the answer is “not really.” These two songs pretty much depleted his reserves of awesomesauce.

Yes, Jon Bon Jovi wrote two of my all-time favorite songs and I’m not ashamed to admit it. A good fucking song is a good fucking song whether you’re Slayer or Tears for Fears; whether you’re Warrant or Queensryche. A good song is a good fucking song regardless of genre or even the band that you’re in. Jon Bon Jovi wrote two of my all-time favorite songs. He also wrote a shit ton of music that I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about. Thanks , Jon.

 

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