Danzig – Skeltons
Release Date: November 27, 2015
Label: Evilive/Nuclear Blast
Ok, so first off, I know that this album was released in November of ’15 but regardless, this album totally deserved a review so here it goes. Better late than never! I’ll be honest and just say this: Danzig has always been somewhat of a guilty pleasure of mine. While I would never consider myself a huge fan, I always enjoyed me some Danzig. Glenn Danzig is a weird motherfucker but I always loved his voice and in all honesty, Danzig III: How the Gods Kill is a fucking killer album. My “fandom” with Danzig pretty much ended with How the Gods Kill so needless to say I couldn’t tell you a single thing he’s done since then. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t really care less but when I heard that he was putting out a covers album, I just knew I had to listen to this.
Before I even started this album, I just had to look at the list of songs that he was covering on this collection. Elvis Presley, Black Sabbath, Aerosmith, and ZZ Top (yes, ZZ Top) were all present. Looking at this list I knew that it was going to go one of three ways. It was going to be terrible, it was going to be hilarious, or it was going to be fucking awesome. Well, the best way I can describe Skeltons is that is that it is hilariously, terribly awesome. As horrible and funny as this album is, it was like watching people fall off of their hoverboards over the Christmas holiday. I knew I should probably stop listening but I just couldn’t.
First off, the production of this album is all over the fucking map. I am not sure of the actual process here but the quality ranges from 4-track recorded in a garage quality to recorded in a studio with the engineer sound asleep at the mixing console. There is absolutely no dynamics to the actual sound of the album other than “shitty” to “not quite as shitty but still shitty.” As for the songs themselves, that is a whole other story. The first two songs on the album, “Devil’s Angels” (by Davie Allan & The Arrows) and “Satan” (by Paul Wibier) were actually quite cool. The sound quality of these songs is terrible but I loved the performances.
A cover of “Let Yourself Go” by Elvis Presley was fucking hilariously awesome. I mean, it sounds like an Elvis impersonator fronting a garage metal band. As for the cover of the Black Sabbath “N.I.B.”, that shit was just atrocious. It sounded like a really bad live band karaoke version of a great song. Also, can we just address the fact that Danzig did a cover of ZZ Top’s “Rough Boy”? Oh my fucking God I couldn’t stop laughing. I actually had to listen to it a 2nd time and it was even funnier than the first time.
How anyone thought that this was a good idea is beyond me. I mean, here’s the deal. It wasn’t unlistenable but it just isn’t good at all. I mean, listening to Skeletons is kind of like listening to a Jerky Boys album. You know that there are probably way better things that you could be listening to in the time that you’re listening to this but it’s just so fucking funny that you just can’t stop listening. Even as funny and entertaining as it is, Skeletons should have definitely been left in the closet. As a matter of fact, it should’ve been locked in the crawlspace with a bowl of water and a loaf of bread. With Skeletons, Danzig definitely came up short.
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