How many times have you heard someone say, “Music saved my life?” Probably more times than you can count and in many ways, it sounds like the cheesiest thing someone could say. For me, this is a true statement. Let me take you back in time to 1984. As many of my loyal readers already know by now, this is around the time that I was first turned on to Hard Rock and Metal music as a kid. Anyways, 1984 There I am, a fat, awkward kid with the worst bowl cut ever going to Catholic school. That right there is enough to make one want end life but I’ll digress. Anyway, there I was. Fat, awkward and wanting nothing but to be included and accepted. Just like any kid, I wanted to belong so I tried my best. I listened to the radio just so I could talk about Prince and Duran Duran only to be made fun of when I didn’t know some other trendy group. No matter what, I just couldn’t win. I was made fun of, I was called names and I was even beaten up after school on a pretty regular basis. I was flat out fucking miserable and I was just ready for any way out. I skipped school, hid from my folks and did just about anything to avoid having to go back to school. Then I started to literally think about offing myself just to get out of it. I couldn’t take anymore and I felt that nobody understood or had my back. I was sent to a therapist who did little to nothing but say that I would eventually grow out of it. I was fucking 11! There’s no way I wanted to go through another year of this shit much less multiple years. I would eventually meet one guy who would accept me for who I was. His name was Jimmy. Along with his older brother, he turned me onto Heavy Metal Music and it showed me a world full of others like me where I could be understood and belong. Of all those bands, one particular band spoke to me in volume and became my saviors. That band was Twisted Sister.
Twisted Sister’s “Stay Hungry” album became MY therapy. I remember listening to this cassette while sitting on my bed alone in my bedroom and finally feeling like there was someone out there that understood me. “We’re Not Gonna Take It”, “I Wanna Rock”, and even “The Price” became songs that spoke not just to me but for me. Wow, these guys totally get me. How could a band that doesn’t even know I exist know me so well? That’s because I wasn’t alone and that there were probably millions of “me” out there and this band got it. They were “my” band. They were “our” band and they were the band that showed me that no matter what, I just had to roll with the punches and never compromise who I was and what I was. So just like the kid in the video, I started wearing a Twisted Sister button on my uniform. I shit you not. I would go to the record store and I would buy ever Twisted Sister button I could buy because everytime Sister Stickupherass would take my button away and send me to the office, I would just show up the next day with a new one. It was my statement and it was ME and they weren’t going to take that away from me. Eventually they won by sending me home and my dad basically telling me that I had to stop doing it because eventually they throw me out of school. Ok, so I abide but I didn’t give in. I drew the “TS” logo on every fucking notebook I had and there wasn’t a goddamn thing they could do about it. Don-1, Catholic School Assholes-0.
Once I had played the living hell out of “Stay Hungry,” off to Warehouse Records & Tapes I went to see what else I could find on my new heroes. Turns out they only had two other albums so I got them. “Under The Blade” and “You Can’t Stop Rock & Roll” were welcome additions to the arsenal and much like “Stay Hungry” became soundtracks to my life and my new therapists. The songs on these albums just fueled me and gave me this new level of confidence to stand up to myself. “I Am, I’m Me”, “What You Don’t Know Sure Can Hurt You” and “You Can’t Stop Rock & Roll” were new anthems to me that just continued to build up inside of me a confidence that was soon to be unleashed. I even went out to the store, got Twisted Sister posters and even started wearing sunglasses trying to emulate lead guitarist Jay Jay French.
At our school, when we went on field trips were allowed to wear “normal” clothes. There everyone would be in their trendy ass Coca-Cola shirts, their Beneton shirts and their day glow jams just mingling amongst themselves and being ya know, “cool.” Here I walk in in my Twisted Sister t-shirt with Dee Snider’s face taking up the whole damn front of the shirt and my jeans and cheap ass K-Mart tennis shoes. The look on their faces was priceless. It’s almost as if they didn’t know what to do but guess what? They just doubled the amount of fun they made of me. The ass kickings got more frequent but I was still not willing to back down.
One night after an asskicking, I was at home as usual crying over a black eye and listening to “Stay Hungry.” I must’ve listened to “We’re Not Gonna Take It” on repeat about 10-15 times. I just knew what I had to do. I couldn’t take it any more. The next day at school, with yet another Twisted Sister button on my uniform, I was keeping to myself on the playground as usual when the kid who had been kicking my ass every day for 2 years straight approached me. He looks at me and goes, “I can’t believe you came to school today. You’re dumber than I thought. Now lick my shoe…” His friends all behind him laughing at me. He took a step in to push me and with Twisted Sister in my mind and in my heart (I could almost hear them them say “DO IT DON!”), I closed my eyes, made a fist and swung my arm with everything I had. I opened my eyes ready to get the beating of my life but instead, I saw him lying on the ground, his nose bleeding like a stuck pig. He was crying and yelling “you hit me! you broke my nose!” His friends tore off running and I was suspended from school for 3 days in which I was told to write him a letter of apology. I flat out refused to write the letter but I took my 3 day suspension with my head held high.
After that, guess what? I still wasn’t cool. I wasn’t popular and I wasn’t accepted by the kids but ya know what? I was left alone. I ate my lunch in peace, I hung out at recess and read my Circus magazines without being disturbed and after school, I waited for my mom to pick me up out front instead of hiding behind the building only to run out when I saw her car. From that day on, I walked differently, I talked differently and I was just a completely different person. Twisted Sister pulled the person out of me that was deep down and afraid to come out. As I got older, I made friends and met people who accepted me for who I am. I never compromised my integrity or who I was. Today, at 36 years old, I’m a different person. I discovered other styles of music and have even become a folksinger/songwriter. While I might be a different person in that fact, I have never hidden or denied who I was and where I came from. I still love all those songs and bands that I did back when and to this day, Twisted Sister brings a smile to my face. I just recently picked up a copy of one of their Twisted Sister: The Videos DVD with all their videos and their 1984 concert from San Bernadino. I just watched it with a three mile smile and remembered just what Twisted Sister did for me. Every kid should have a “Twisted Sister” of their own whether it’s Slipknot or whoever is big now. Every kid should have that connection with a band that makes them feel good and makes them feel and know that they aren’t out there alone. Twisted Sister was MY band, my therapy and my friends that I never had. I hope one day I can thank them in person for being there for me and for being Twisted Sister.
Dee, Mark, Eddie, A.J. and Jay Jay, I AM an SMF! Always have been, and always will be an SMF… A Sick Motherfucking Friend of Twisted Sister! You can’t stop Rock & Roll!
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