Masters Of Metal… Or Not.

crazedSince I moved back to Atlanta, I’ve found myself frequenting used record stores.  One of the great things about living in a big city is that there are lots of great record stores.  On a recent trip to Fantasyland Records on Peachtree Street I was thumbing through the metal section and I came across an old compilation album called “Crazed: An All Out Metal Assault.”  Seeing this album just brought back a ton of memories and made me remember just how powerful the compilation album was.

Being a metal head, the compilation album was one of the best things that could ever happen.  I mean, think about it.  Compilation albums were the buffets of the music industry.  For a low price you could get a taste of many different bands and also much like a buffet, some tracks were absolutely delicious and others had you wanting to spit it into a napkin and flush it.

My first compilation album ever was the above mentioned “Crazed: An All Out Metal Assault.”  The best part about these things is that they usually cost half of what a regular album cost.  I made about 5 bucks a week allowance so every two weeks or so I could buy an album.  I remember being in a Sears or some other department store that sold records and seeing this thing.  I don’t think real record stores sold compilation albums because they were kind of the butthole of music.  They were usually put out by K-Tel who was famous for putting out Dance Party mix albums but other bastard labels started putting them out as well.  See, if you wanted the latest Iron Maiden or Motley Crue album you went to Warehouse Records, Smiths or Record Bar.  If you wanted compilations you went to Sears, Walgreens or K&B Drugstore.  The terrible artwork and lame titles just didn’t find comfortable homes in the cool record stores that I frequented.

Anyways, I remember seeing this album thinking to myself, “Wow, I only know like half of these bands.  It was only about five bucks and I was thinking that it would be cool to hear some of these bands that I had never heard before.  This album featured a few really well known bands that I was already a fan of such as Quiet Riot, Scorpions and Dio but in addition to those bands were what I would later refer to as “K-Tel Metal” bands.  These were bands that almost always showed up on these albums such as Y&T, Rush, Zebra and Krokus.  Add to that a few obscure bands like Armored Saint and Helix and you whitehothad quite a listening experience.

Being that Zebra was from New Orleans I already had a heads up on these guys and knew that they were fucking awesome.  This was also pretty much the first time I had ever heard Rush and while not thinking they were metal, I thought they were really good.  I remember totally digging Armored Saint and even thought Y&T’s song “Don’t Stop Running” was pretty cool.  As for Helix and Queensryche, I pretty much thought that these guys were the Masters of SUCK more so than Masters of Metal.  Listening to this album now in 2010, I pretty much have the same thoughts about these bands although I’d love to back to 1985 and tell my younger self that Queensryche would actually turn out to be quite a great fucking band.  At least I was able to find out for myself eventually but as for Helix, those guys fucking suck.

Over the years, I would pick up about 3 or 4 other compilations that would turn me onto other metal bands or completely turn me off.  I picked up another K-Tel one called White Hot and I was floored that this was the first time I heard Black Sabbath fronted by Ronnie James Dio.  I must have played “Heaven & Hell” on that one over and over again until the needle just about wore through the vinyl.  I even went out and bought the Sabbath album “Live Evil” a few weeks later because of this one.  This one also had Rush on it but the same damn song “Distant Early Warning” which was fine since it kicked ass.  I was however introduced to Triumph’s “Lay It On The Line” which was so awesome.  Too bad nothing else they ever did was awesome as well.  I also learned that Slade, even though they wrote the original versions of Quite Riot’s hit “Cum On Feel The Noize”, pretty much sucked ass.  What a terrible band.

mastersofmetal_lgThe final one that I would pick up would be simply called Masters of Metal.  This one had yet some more educational moments for me.  I discovered that Black Sabbath had yet another singer on the song “Trashed” who ended up being the guy from Deep Purple.  I was so floored that band could have three different singers and all three of kick primo ass in their own right.  Y&T delivered yet another great track with “Mean Streak” and Krokus melted my face off with “Screaming In The Night.”  I still have yet to hear a Krokus song anywhere near that good and in all honesty I consider that one to be one of the greatest Metal songs ever.  I also heard a different Rush song called “Tom Sawyer” and much like with “Distant Early Warning” didn’t think it was metal but thought it was pretty bad ass.  Triumph bit a big one with “A World of Fantasy” and sealed their fate as Masters of Suck along with Helix.  The album closed out with Van Halen’s “Dancing In The Street” and I loved it.  It was a heavy version of an oldie from my parent’s time.

These days we have the Internet, iTunes and other ways to discover new music and to “sample” what’s out there.  I still remember the excitement of taking my five bucks to the store with me and picking up one of these awesome albums; so excited to discover a new band and hear a new song that would blow my mind.  It was a lot of fun to share these with my friends.  I’d head over to Jimmy’s house or Mike’s house and we would put these on and rave about what was great and totally make fun of what sucked.  The fun was all in the discovery.  Every time I hear a band or a song that I love for the first time I remember those days and those very albums.

I still say Helix is the worst metal band ever.

helix

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