Dream Theater’s Mike Portnoy: Let Me Out! No, Let Me In!

On September 8th of 2010, Dream Theater drummer and founding member Mike Portnoy issued a long winded statement that after 25 years he was leaving Dream Theater. To say that Portnoy’s statement was long winded is a drastic understatement. Let’s start out with a little back history here. In 2010, Mike Portnoy was invited to complete the drum work on the album “Nightmare” by the super suck kid metal band Avenged Sevenfold. Turns out that their drummer Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan had OD’d and passed away and because he was a big Portnoy fan, the band asked Mike to finish the album. In 2010, it was announced that he would also be drumming for the band on their “Nightmare” tour. This brought a lot of mixed reviews from Dream Theater fans and it also seemed that Mr. Portnoy’s already ballooned ego had begun to inflate to infinity with his new found success. I guess it tasted sweet to him. So sweet that he approached his Dream Theater bandmates and recommended that they take time off as a band to recharge and rest (also known as, “You guys just hang out while I go be an emo metal star with a bunch of kids and then when I get back we can be a band again!” Well, much to his surprise Dream Theater denied his request, told him to have fun being an emo metal star while they carried on making kick ass music without him. Ouch! The ego begins to deflate and now he becomes Mike Poorboy.

Poorboy released his long winded statement [READ IT HERE] and vowed to move forward rocking out with his new friends in Avenged Sevenfold. Life seemed good for him but alas, it wasn’t meant to be.  Once the “Nightmare” tour was over, a statement was released by A7X singer M. Shadows regarding the dismissal of ol’ Poorboy [READ IT HERE].  It sounds like ol’ Poorboy went in and probably tried to take over with his infinite wisdom and leadership and was told, “Pack it up old man.  We got this.  Thanks for playing though.”  Ouch.  Another ounce of air released from the ego balloon.  So what would happen next for ol’ Poorboy?  You guessed it!

On December 20th, Blabbermouth posted a press release from ol’ Poorboy [READ IT HERE] that Dream Theater, well, their lawyers at least, denied his request to rejoin Dream Theater.  Hey Poorboy, I thought you thought they needed a break and that you needed a break from Dream Theater so now that everything you thought would be your destiny has fallen you want back in?  Poorboy is a true prodigal son but Dream Theater said, “No thanks.  We got this.”  I have to commend Dream Theater for sticking to their guns and moving forward.  I know a lot of fans believe that the band won’t be able to carry on without Poorboy but here’s the deal.  He’s a fucking drummer.  Ok, so he’s an AWESOME drummer but big fucking deal.  I never liked the way he was always trying to be front man and run the show from the back of the stage like a douche.  Play your fucking drums, play them well and just deal with it dude.  After hearing him take over lead vocals on the first chorus for “Take The Time” live, I knew right away that they should just take his fucking microphone away from him.

So here we have it, Dream Theater has announced that they have a new drummer but as of this writing have not announced who it is.  And Poorboy?  Hm, maybe he can form a Zebra tribute band or something in Long Island and do dinner gigs or something.  Or maybe he can find another young band to go be the creepy older uncle for and try and change the world.  One can only hope that he will learn something from this.  I really don’t hate the guy but I just can’t stand his ways and how he acts.  I hope this will maybe even change him for the better and make him realize that even though he was a member of Dream Theater for 25 years, he was just 1/5 of an outstanding creative entity, no the whole.  And as for Dream Theater, to quote their own words, “It’s time to pick up the pieces go back to square one.  I think it’s time for a change.”  Words to live by and words that shall be lived by!

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