Tis this season motherfuckers!  That’s right.  It’s Christmas time once again.  You know that magical time of year where the suicide rate shoots through the roof, mass consumerism and mass insanity floods the shopping malls, and somewhere in there there’s supposed to be a magical “good” side to all of this.  Oh well, who cares right?

I decided I would take some time to ask some of my good friends in metal what it was they wanted for Christmas from the big fan man in red.  It was really fun reading all of their answers so I hope you will enjoy them as well. 

After reading this, don’t forget to leave out some milk and cookies for Santa.  And don’t leave out that organic shit.  I hear he thinks that shit sucks and if you leave that crap out for him he will leave you a collection of Nickleback and Collective Soul CDs.

James J. LaRue

A shit-ton of cosmetic surgery and a new wardrobe, or the Galaxy Note 2, DUH!


Andrew Packer (Gypsyhawk)

I want this guitar plug-in software called GTR by Waves.  It’s like $150.00 so someone should be able to buy it for me [laughs].  I’ve done my research and supposedly it’s the best guitar plug-in on the market for the money and I want that.  I also want some more RAM for my computer because it is being a slow bitch [laughs].


Eric Harris (Gypsyhawk)

A life.


Rain Irving (While Heaven Wept)

Health and happiness to all I love and all that love me. A good bottle of bourbon as well!


Tom Phillips (While Heaven Wept)

For Hank Rain Irving to finish the vocal melodies to both of our new albums BEFORE he cracks open said bourbon.


James Paul Luna (Holy Grail)

I want John bush’s stage outfit from the “Can U Deliver” video.


Jason Krutzky (Stonerider)

For Christmas I wanna go back on tour


Michelle Schrotz (Brave/While Heaven Wept)

All I want for Christmas is a Brave/While Heaven Wept/Anathema/Fates Warning world tour. And some chips and salsa sounds pretty yummy oh yeah, and good health and happiness to all of my family and friends.


Rob Hammersmith (Skid Row)

I’d love one drum lesson from John Bonham but I don’t see that happening.  I’d like to open for AC/DC.  If not, I’ll still take that lesson from John Bonham!


Jessie Sanchez (Bonded by Blood)

All i want for Christmas is a sans amp pedal. Is that too much to ask for? I’m not asking for a pound of god’s sweetest dankiest cheeba but instead something more realistic, a sans amp pedal that will allow me to create a bass tone so ballsy that the Gods themselves will shit their britches. This will increase my tone by 10 fold. Donate will ya? Make a boy’s nerdy dreams come true

Nina Osegueda (A Sound of Thunder)

All I want for Christmas is a crowd this big to see us play!



Pepe Clarke (Kyng)

A new wallet.  That’s what I want.


Tony Casteneda (Kyng)

I want money for my old wallet [laughs].  Man, I’ve got all I really need right now.  I’m really fucking content with my life.


Jake Dreyer (White Wizzard)

Let’s see my X-mas wish is going to be extremely guitar nerdy because… Well, that is just the guy I am. I want Andy LaRocque from King Diamond’s wide and furious vibrato. Since I have been such a good boy this year I would also like Paul Gilbert’s pick attack.





About Don de Leaumont

Don (aka. The Brainfart) has been a heavy metal fan since hearing it for the first time in 1983. Don is also repsonsible for all of the typos, shitty grammar, and kick ass content on this site. Don likes cheap beer, whiskey, Coca Cola Icees, going to shows, and hanging with his kick ass wife, two cats and dog. He originally wanted to name his dog Shandi but his wife said, "No fucking way."

thegreatsouthernbrainfart thegreatsouthernbrainfart says:

Thanks AJ. Right back to you my friend!

AJ says:

Ha, cool article dude. Merry Christmas to ya!

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