Breaking News: Ozzy Sings Off Key at Black Sabbath Concert! In other news, the sky is blue!

Black Sabbath’s North American tour opened in Houston, TX at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. Even with all of the shit talking I do, I saw the set list and thought to myself, “Whoa dude. That actually looks pretty bad ass. Then all of the sudden I found myself shaking it off and coming back to reality. While I haven’t read an “official” review of the performance, I did manage to do some digging and I found a video clip of the full performance from this show and I think the proof is in the pudding:  OZZY SOUNDS LIKE DOGSHIT!

Here’s the deal though folks. Ozzy is like that carton of Orange Juice that has been left in your fridge way too long. You don’t really wanna throw it out but you know it’s past it’s prime and while the carton and packaging looks great, you know it’s just time to get rid of it and will taste like shit if you drink it. Ok, maybe that didn’t make a whole lot of sense other than to say that the idea of a Black Sabbath reunion is probably far better than the actual reality of it but then you have this other little thing to factor in: IT’S NOT FUCKING BLACK SABBATH PEOPLE! Bill Ward isn’t even involved in this so it’s just 3/4 of Sabbath. Hell, why not call this thing Ozzy & Friends?

Every one who knows anything about metal knows that Ozzy hasn’t been even at the middle of his game since 1994. Why would anyone expect him to even be able to pull these songs off in 2013? His performance is flat, out of tune, uninspired and my god if they tuned down any lower for him their strings would be on the fucking stage. I know what a lot of you all are going to say. You’re probably going to say, “Wah wah Brainfart. It’s a YouTube clip” or your going to say, “He didn’t sound THAT bad.” Um, no. He really did sound horrible! Reading some of the comments about his vocal performance this night was hilarious:

“Ozzy did what it could, but the return monitors were bad. look at the videos, he complains that shit.”

“Not bad for a first performance.”

“Ozzy it’s bad :/ BUT watch the videos he also couldn’t song fairies wear boots and iron man well, but Snowblind and Under the Sun was perfect. in the most videos i watched from this show he somehow complains about the monitor speakers. Next time it will be much better 🙂 “

Oh the denial. Can you just taste it from there. At this point in the game, I really have to ask the fans something. If you’re going to see Black Scabbath, for the amount of money you’ll be forking out for a ticket, is this level of sub par performance really worth it? Is it worth the price of the ticket just say, “I saw Black Sabbath” regardless of the degradation of quality? If this is the case, than more power to you. I personally would rather sit home and watch Black Sabbath live in Paris 1970. When I want to think of live Sabbath, this is what I’d rather think of:

About The Author