Tomorrow will be my 40th Birthday! Happy Fucking Birthday to me right? Well, like any other birthday, the birthday boy gets to make a wish. Well, below are some of my birthday wishes. I know that none of these just may never come true and that some of that sound down right asinine. Well just remember that it is MY BIRTHDAY. A boy can wish right?
Just remember that if ANY of these wishes do indeed come true that you hear them here first. You can thank me later!
Wish #1: Queensryche Reunion & Great Album
I would love nothing more than to see Queensryche recapture the glory and magic that they once had. If I could have my wish, I would see Chris DeGarmo reunite with his brothers, they would sit in a room and reminisce over the good old days, they’d empty out a few bottles of Geoff Tate’s wine and they would write a masterpiece of an album that would be a suiting follow up to Promised Land. They would hit the road and in true Pink Floyd fashion do a two set show: Set 1 would be a mix of all their great songs including some new songs. Set 2 would be Promised Land played in its entirety and the encore would be whatever the fuck they want to play.
For my next birthday wish, I would love for Iron Maiden to let me plan the setlist for just ONE SHOW and be in attendance for the show. The show would go like this:
Back In The Village, Where Eagles Dare, Afraid to Shoot Strangers, Revelations , Total Eclipse, Judas Be My God , Paschendale , Revelations , The Evil that Men Do , Children of the Damned , Remember Tomorrow (feat. Paul DiAnno), Stranger in a Strange Land, Hallowed by thy Name, Iron Maiden
The Final Frontier , Purgatory, Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Yeah, I know. You’re like, “Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Paul DiAnno on vocals???” Fuck you. It’s my birthday wish ok? It’s not a perfect world but if this could happen, the world would be perfect for just under two hours! Hey, a boy can dream right?
So the phone call from VH1 classics would go like this:
“Hey Brainfart. We love your blog and we love the fact that you have such an outspoken love (and hatered) of metal bands. We also feel that you have such a broad scope and we feel that we have failed with Eddie Trunk. We have decided to let him go and we would love for you to be the host of THAT METAL SHOW. You and your co-hosts Jammin’ Jaymz and Bastard Ruben will be a much needed shot in the ass that our VH1 Classics and the world of metal truly needs.”
Of all of the bands I have seen in my life, Twisted Sister is the one band that is a top tier favorite of mine that I have never seen live. They just never come this way. I’ve come close by seeing Dee Snider’s Widowmaker but Twisted Sister remains a band that I have yet to see. For my birthday wish, I would love to see Twisted Sister re-create their legendary Come Out and Play tour but to do so with the Stay Hungry tour set list (only add the song “Come Out and Play” as the opener). This is something I would give at least one limb to see (probably a leg since I use my arms and shit).
How has this tour never happened? Of all the insanely awesome tour packages that get put together, this tour alone would probably be tour of the century. I mean, look at that line up? I would gladly pay $200 to see that massive facemelt fest. A show like this is what metal is all about. Four amazing bands who put on some amazing stage shows and who have a collection of timeless metal songs that have inspired, entertained, and horrified generations of people. Nothing about this tour would suck. We would have to come up with a cool name for this tour. Smash of the Titans? Bloodapalooza? Meltchella? We’ll have to work on these.
So Bruce would agree to spending a day with the Great Southern Brainfart. Bruce would come to the states and crash at my house. After a long trip he’d be wiped out so he’d go to bed. The next day we’d kick things off with breakfast. Maybe some bangers and eggs or something. A spot of tea maybe? Then I’d call Jammin’ Jaymz and be like, dude, guess who’s here? Then Bruce would chat with him for a little bit but not too long since he’s hanging with me. Then we’d just kick around Atlanta. Maybe go the Aquarium. I’d take him to East Atlanta Village and we’d go hipster watching and make fun of them all while enjoying a pint at the Flatiron. Then we’d have lunch at Universal Joint by my house and we’d just talk. I’d do a kick ass interview and ask him all the questions I’d ever wanted to ask him. He’d be rad as fuck and totally into it. Then we’d drive and meet my wife at Y and we’d all exercise together and then head home for dinner of turkey burgers, sweet potato fries, and some grilled zucchini. Bruce would then offer to sing on some of my new songs and we’d hook up the gear and have a wicked recording session. Then after many pints and a bottle of wine, it would be time for his limo to take him to the airport. It would be an awesome day without a doubt!