There’s nothing worse than when your favorite bands put out some shitty fucking song. Hell, some of our favorite bands have put out horrible albums but that’s a whole other story. This time around I’m talking about songs. After having a nice long discussion of this topic with a good buddy of mine, I decided to compile a list of 10 Worst Songs From My Favorite Bands. These ten are literally the first 10 that popped up into my head. I mean, if I could list these songs that quickly then that means the level of suck has been forever embedded into my cranium.
Dio – Hungry For Heaven
As much as I love Ronnie James Dio (RIP) the man wasn’t perfect. This was a song that was featured in the 80’s craptastic movie Vision Quest. Yeah, I know right? I’m not sure what was up with this song. Maybe it was Ronnie’s attempt at commercial success? It was a “hit” for them but no more than any of his truly great masterpieces. This song is a big ass bowl of suck. Enjoy.
Iron Maiden – Weekend Warrior
This is a good example of how I feel like Iron Maiden likes to fuck with us. Fear of the Dark as an album was all over the place but man, this fucking song just had me scratching my head. What the fuck were you thinking Bruce? “A weekend warrior lately. A weekend warrior sometimes.” How was this even allowed to happen? Bruce must’ve snuck this song onto the album while ‘arry was taking a shit or something. Luckily for us, this song never saw the light of day live so at least we didn’t have to sit through it in a live setting. Truly horrible.
Black Sabbath – Am I Going Insane? (Radio)
One of my first Sabbath purchases was the “We Sold Our Souls for Rock N’ Roll” compilation and I can still vividly remember hearing this song and thinking, “What the fuck is this?” I mean, I had no fucking clue what to even think of this song. Matter of fact, at first I thought something was wrong with the cassette or that it accidentally had a wrong band’s song on it. As the years passed it definitely didn’t turn into a song that I grew to love. If anything, as I got older I would find people that shared an equal level of hate for this song. Garbage. Next…
Judas Priest – Parental Guidance
Priest’s 80’s experimental album Turbo was an interesting album. This album had the band playing with keyboards and doing some sort of electronic bullshit. It’s kind of like what Iron Maiden was doing with Seventh Son only Priest got it all wrong. Ok, so maybe there’s a good song or two on that album but man, “Parental Guidance” was NOT one of those songs. What the fuck. “We don’t need no, no, no, no parental guidance here.” This was Priest trying to write an anthem for the times. Let Twisted Sister write the anthems and you guys just kick fucking ass instead ok? Thanks.
Twisted Sister – Leader of the Pack
This was the moment I knew it was all over. When I heard this song in 1988 I wanted to die. I knew right then and there that my heroes were gone for good. Twisted Sister managed to have some hits all the while putting out great albums but for Come Out and Play they (they meaning Dee Snider) just lost all focus and \threw it all to the wolves trying to become a popular band. This is the song that put Twisted Sister in the fucking grave. I spit on this song.
Megadeth – Super Collider
For a band that has put out some of the most amazing metal songs, Megadeth also has put out some of the most god awful crap. Super Collider is a prime example of Dave Mustaine just having one of those moments that make you say, “What in God’s fucking name were you thinking?” This song (and album) just prove that you can’t win ’em all. It’s a good thing ol’ Megadave has been known to bounce back to form because this shit is so bad it’s enough to make you just wanna give up on them.
Metallica – Nothing Else Matters
Speaking of songs that make you give up on band. Holy shit. As a kid who thought this band could do no wrong, I was quickly proven wrong and showed that Metallica could get it COMPLETELY wrong and them from here on out continue to totally fuck it all up and just lose all focus and sights of the band they once were and the band they were destined to be. This song is cringe worthy to say the least and it’s a song that I can never listen to. The band continues to make it a “staple” of their live shows which just proves my point. They choose THIS song as a staple and a representation of them as a band. Good fucking riddance.
Anthrax – I’m the Man
I have to admit it. I totally fell for this as a kid. Man. Anthrax rapping. This is so fucking awesome. Yeah, if your 13. As a 40 year old, long time fan of this band, this is so un-awesome it’s pitiful. Why these guys ever thought this was a good idea is so far beyond me. They are absolutely ridiculous. Hell, Anthrax is HORRIBLE at rap anyways. I get the novelty of this but it does make me wonder if it’s stupid shit like this and the even worse “Bring The Noise” that kind of made them a laughing stock of the metal world. Yeah, I can give them credit for being one of the first to “crossover” but at the same time, can we blame them for shit music like Limp Bizkit and Korn? Yeah. Case closed.
W.A.S.P – Kill Fuck Die
Techno Industrial W.A.S.P. Three things that go HORRIBLY together. I know people that LOVE this shit but you know what? They can get their own fucking blog because shit show blows. I have to give it to Blackie for wanting to try and stay on the cusp of trends only with this shit he was a few years too late and totally missed the mark. Eventually he remembered what it was that W.A.S.P did so well and that was making kick ass metal. Not this Nine Inch Ministry bullshit.
Skid Row – Big Guns
I fucking LOVE Skid Row. I fucking HATE this song. I always did, I always will yet even 20 something years later the band STILL insists on playing this ditty. For a band that turned out some really great songs this is definitely not one of them. I would even take “I Remember You” over this one. Why did this song become a “hit” with their crowd? “She got the big guns, pointed at my heart.” Are they talking about tits? Because if this song was about tits then I just might change my mood towards this song. If it’s not about tits, this song sucks. Forget about it.