In 2014, the metal world was dealt a huge blow with the sad and shocking passing of long time Scumdog and leader of GWAR, Oderus Urungus. After Oderus made his way through the cosmos many were left wondering what would become of his fellow Scumdogs. Would they carry on? Well, much like Kansas said, “Carry On Wayward Son” and so they did.
At this summer’s annual Gwar BQ, GWAR revealed that Blothar, father of bassist Beefcake the Mighty and longtime friend of GWAR, would reign as Oderus’ most fitting successor. Together they hit the road for the GWAR Eternal tour where GWAR proved to not just be resilient band but a band that was a much stronger and powerful entity than any of us even imagined. On the Atlanta stop of the GWAR Eternal tour, I had the chance to talk to the mighty Blothar about GWAR, his relationship with his son, and just how he loves to party with Rick James every weekend.
Enjoy getting to know the mighty Blothar!
Blothar, it’s an honor and a privilege! Thanks for taking the time to talk to me today.
Yeah, no problem. Hey, I like that shirt (points at my Galactic Empire shirt). That’s cool.
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So does being interviewed for a website called The Great Southern Brainfart fill you with joy?
Oh absolutely. The Great Southern Brainfart. It sounds like William Faulkner having an aneurism while in the bathroom so sure, it sounds great.
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That’s amazing. Can I use that as my tag line? I’ll give you credit.
Sure you can! The Great Southern Brainfart: It’s like William Faulkner taking a dump while having a heart attack. I’m sure he had a bunch of booze shits.
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Booze shits. You think so?
Absolutely. He was a big fucking drunk.
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Would he have been a GWAR fan?
No, probably not at all. I don’t think he was much of a fan of anything except himself but he was a good guy nonetheless.
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What iconic writer or poet from the past do you feel would have been a GWAR fan?
Man, that’s a good question. Balsac (GWAR guitarist) of course. He’s a GWAR fan. He wrote a lot of things. It’s probably a safe bet that the Marquis De Sade would’ve loved us. The Earl of Rochester definitely was a GWAR fan. He wrote poems that were practically GWAR songs back in the Elizabethan period I think it was. They were filthy fucking versus so he definitely would’ve been a GWAR fan. William Byrd. Yeah, he would’ve been a GWAR fan too! He always talked about fondling his slaves which I do all the time.
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What is one question that you’re so tired of being asked that if you hear it one more time you’ll use someone’s face as a urinal?
If somebody asks me one more time if I’m tired of being asked a question one more time, than that question will make me want to kill them [laughs]. I’m kidding. Actually, the question that I am more tired of hearing than anything else is, “Will you do another GWAR record?” My answer to that is, “What the fuck do you think? It’s a rock band.” If we’re trying to keep going of course we’re going to do another fucking record. Another question I get tired of hearing is, “How does it feel to fill Oderus’ shoes?” How does it feel? What are they asking me? Oderus didn’t wear any shoes. It’s ridiculous. He did wear shoes at one point and I filled them with urine.
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Is that why he never wore shoes again?
I don’t know. He was a dipshit.
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So this is Blothar’s first time in Atlanta.
Blothar has been to Atlantis but not to Atlanta.
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Have you had a chance to take in the sites?
When we first got into Atlanta I was hanging around the bathroom at the Varsity trying to meet chicks. It didn’t work out. There were a lot of fat ones coming in and out of there. Then, of course, I went to the Clermont Lounge and got a rub and tug in the Rub n’ Tug room and drank a few beers. It was good.
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How have the GWAR slaves across the US been treating you?
Well, you know, the chicks have been great. At the end of the night, there’s nothing like a three headed blow job but ya know? Not every chick has three heads but you just gotta take what you can get. Aside from that, people love it. The fans are relieved that GWAR is still GWAR. They are perhaps surprised but mostly relieved. There are people that write off GWAR without Oderus out of hand and those people simply don’t know very much about GWAR. The first several times I saw the band Oderus wasn’t even the singer. We’re doing what we can do and I think we’re doing it well. I think people should come and see it and give it a chance. Or not. I don’t give a shit. There are plenty of people at the shows who have never seen GWAR before in their lives. It is different but nothing really ever stays the same. Hell, even if Oderus was still here it wouldn’t be the same.
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Hell, GWAR is an ever changing band. The GWAR that put out Battle Maximus wasn’t the same GWAR that put out Hell-O. GWAR was always changing.
Exactly. I don’t think anyone who has been coming out to the shows has been disappointed so we’re going to keep doing this.
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Aside from underage girls, what’s your favorite thing to eat while on the road?
Oh yeah, pussy baby. That’s what I love to eat. 24 hours a day. I have breakfast pussy, lunch pussy, dinner pussy, supper pussy, late night snack pussy. It’s all pussy all the time. A big ol’ pussy buffet. Blothar eats pussy. I want that to be the headline. Chicks need to know that Blothar will eat your fucking pussy.
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If you could feed any celebrity to the Human Meat Grinder, who would it be?
Well, a celebrity. Let me think. I think I would like to feed Jesus into the meat grinder. Man, all the good ones are already dead. Don Knotts, Dom Deluise, Andy Griffith. They would’ve been great food.
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Is there any music that we’d be surprised to hear that Blothar was a fan of?
Maybe Bobby Blue Bland and the Bobby Blue Bland Blues Band? You know what? What I have in common with Bobby Blue Bland and the Bobby Blue Bland Blues Band is that I will eat your pussy. Any fans who are reading this that wanna go out and buy a Bobby Blue Bland and the Bobby Blue Bland Blues Band album should.
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What do you think of Kim Kardashians ass and will you be killing it on stage at any point?
Oh I wouldn’t kill her ass. I would fuck her ass for a long time. Than I’d pop it off and shove it down her throat. Then I’d take a shit on her. I would eat Kim Kardashian’s pussy.
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How come we never hear GWAR talked about on Ancient Aliens? Isn’t GWAR the original Ancient Aliens?
Of course we are! We watch that show and it’s just a fucking joke. When we watch that show it’s like watching a VH1 “Where are they Now” series. They’re talking about all this shit that we did a long time ago. Building the pyramids and Stonehenge which was just a fucking croquet course that we set up. Those stupid heads on Easter Island was one of Balsac’s earliest experiments. I mean, we used to give him things to play with and sit him on an island where he couldn’t do any harm so that’s what those are. It was just Balsac on an island alone trying to make some friends for himself to play with. Machu Pichu. Of course we were there. We were in Ancient Mesopotamus, Ancient Hippopotamus, we were in all those places.
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Should we tweet Giorgio Tsoukalous right now and see what the fuck is up with that?
That dude with the weird hair? He’s a fucking douchebag. I’m gonna rape him to pieces. Him and that Von Erik Shmoltzer or whatever his name is. What a bunch of fucking idiots. Ancient Astronaut Theorists believe that I’m going to fuck them and eat them. The only thing dumber than those guys are Juggalos.
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It’s no surprise that GWAR hates Juggalos.
I’m curious what our fans would think if GWAR went on tour with Insane Clown Posse. They’d probably hate us. Get your readers to write in about that one. If I could get my hands on one of those guys I would shove a three liter bottle of Faygo so far up his ass. I would just love that. Just force feed one of those stupid fucking clowns some Faygo.
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Maybe this wouldn’t be a bad idea. GWAR could tour with ICP and then in every town just kill all the Juggalos ridding the Earth of them forever. It would be kind of like natural selection.
Yeah. Well honestly, Juggalos are the greatest human beings on Earth. Never have I seen a group of more intelligent, passionate, dedicated, sincere, deeply thoughtful human beings than at a Juggalo gathering. Wonderful women. Ladies and gentlemen conducting themselves in a manner than reflects centuries of good breeding and human tradition. The true potential of humanity is embodied in the Juggalos. That’s my take on it.
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You’ve really figured this out. What are we missing then and how can get what you’re getting out of the Juggalos?
Clearly what you need to do is drop a bunch of acid, think about being a serial killer, listen to 2nd rate knock off hip hop music, and have sex with Chlamydia ridden whores in a big muddy field. That, my friend, is the path to enlightenment. It’s the pinnacle of human civilization. It’s the most that you humans can hope for.
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If Hollywood was to make a movie about your life, who would play you?
Dom Deluise. He was going to play Beefcake years ago. On a serious, note, it’s come to light that Beefcake thinks I’m his father.
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I’ve heard this rumor that you are Beefcake’s father.
He’s been trying to strike up a relationship with me. He’s been trying to send me letters, ask me questions, etc. I don’t allow him to speak directly to me. He talks to me through an attorney. He sends me handwritten letters through the mail. Usually he’s asking me for money, pizza, and he wants me to read him stories at night. All the things he didn’t have as a child. I can’t do any of that because I’m too fucking busy having a good time. It’s the same reason I couldn’t help his mother raise him. I can’t be tied down with a kid.
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If you could go back in time, what old school band would you want to hang out with and do a shit ton of blow?
Well, you can go back in time. We do it all the time. We are time travelers but to answer your question, Rick James and the Stone City Band without a doubt. That dude knew how to have a good time. He was the most fun. Who has as much fun today as Rick James? Do you think the band fun has as much fun as Rick James? They should be called “bum” because hearing that shit band bums me out. That big fat dude that played keyboards in the Stone City Band? That’s me. I was black then. That was my black period. We did a lot of cocaine and not only that but we had a little bit of fun tying up chicks and burning them with crack pipes. Good times man. Good times.
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How often do you go back and hang with Rick James?
Man, I go hang with him every fucking weekend. Every weekend, Rick James is alive again and “Superfreak” and “Mary Jane” has just come out. I hang out with that fucking weirdo white dude guitar player who wore a halter top. It’s always a good time. Everyone’s got their hair cut like Cleopatra. It’s a fucking blast.
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King Diamond or Neil Diamond: Who would win in head to head combat?
I think actually Lou Diamond Phillips would kick both their asses but man, I’ll be honest. King Diamond… that’s a beautiful chick. I would eat her pussy. Fuck Neil Diamond.
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What is Blothar’s favorite song to sing the shower? You do shower right?
Well, I don’t shower. I take baths. Spit baths actually. While I’m having a spit bath, my favorite song to sing is “Itsy Bitsy Spider.” I sing a lot of Grand Funk Railroad tunes. I sing, “If” by Bread. That’s one of my favorites.
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That song makes me cry.
Me too. Because it sucks so bad [laughs]! Those are all good tunes.
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What makes you laugh more than anything in the world?
Oh, just sitting around jerking off makes me laugh. Reaching down between my legs and feeling those four dicks. Unveiling my hideous bouquet of penises to 18 year olds and fucking them four at a time. That’s how I first met U2 actually. They are always on me. Adam Clayton, The Edge, Bono, whatever that fucking drummer’s name is. Nobody knows him. Taking a dump in Bono’s mouth is always hilarious.
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This year we saw the Fappening where all these celebrity nudes got posted. Are there any sex tapes or photos of you floating around that you wish to hide?
No. There are many sex tapes of me. I’d post them to the internet myself but I haven’t. Sex tapes of me? I’d watch it again and again and again. If there are any chicks that are reading this, I will fuck them and film it. If there are any chicks out there that like chubby dudes, get on this.
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If you could send a message out to Oderus through the cosmos, what would it be?
Well, he owes me like 40 billion yams. That’s how long it’s been. We use yams as currency where we come from and he owes me like 40 billion yams which, in today’s dollars, that’s more money than what exists on your planet. He was always borrowing my yams and kola nuts and wives for that matter. You dumb motherfucker. We miss you but bring back my fucking yams.
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Ok, let’s play a game that I played with Oderus called “KILL, FUCK, MARRY.” He used to love this one. Ok: Kim Kardashian, Dr. Phil, Ann Coulter: Kill, Fuck or Marry?
FUCK, FUCK, and FUCK.
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One after the other or at the same time with your bag of dicks?
I would fuck Kim Kardashian’s ass with Ann Coulter and Dr. Phil? I’d just shit in his mouth. I’d love to feed him some soft serve. Dr. Phil is a fucking moron. Doctor. Hell, I’m a doctor.
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Blothar, thank you so much not killing me or eating my pussy. I really enjoyed getting to know you.
Well. No problem my friend. No problem at all!
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